It is said that the fish is the last creature to understand what ‘water’ is. Or in similar vein, ‘you can’t see the wood for the trees’. So what is this all about?
Well the two main tools in the Counsellor’s toolbox are ‘reflecting’ and ‘paraphrasing’, by which the Counsellor checks again and again the Client’s understanding of any situation. It is like holding up a kind of mirror that enables the person to see something of what they are saying, something of their circumstances and how they are coping or not coping with the problem. It is absolutely amazing how true those sayings are and how it can be a truly humbling experience for a Client to realise how profoundly they are deluding themselves or denying the obvious.
We all do it. There are no exceptions. And it takes skill for the Counsellor to reflect back to the Client so the Client can actually see themselves as others see them without getting the Client’s back up and them retreating into ‘defence’ mode. It is the main work of any counselling series with the desired outcome of understanding, acceptance, and (hopefully) empowering a Client to make the necessary changes to sort things out. And if the Counsellor doesn’t have the necessary skill then the outcome can range from ‘waste of time’ to enraged ‘never coming back here again’. Counselling is so often a thankless task!
But when a Client does see the wood for the trees or does come to an understanding of the surrounding environment, then there is a feeling of ‘job well done’ and satisfaction pervades. To accept the truth is very hard, especially if it shows us up in a very bad light. But if you do not want to grow, then go ahead, bury your head in the sand and continue with the mess. As one past Client put it so crudely, “You have to acknowledge you have s..t on your hands before you can wash it off. Only then do you stop spreading it around”!!
On a far more upbeat note I have another book being published, and it is due out at the end of the month. It is called ‘The Death of the Church and Spirituality Reborn’. In the meanwhile someone is very patiently leading me gently into the digital age by setting up an Instagram account for me which includes quotes from my other book, ‘The Way – A Celtic Qabalah’. Do have a look, and if you like any of it do interact with it. Just click on http://www.instagram.com/reverendjohnbooks