March Newsletter – Come back from that

Hello Everyone

There are times when, no matter how well intentioned, the situation leads to Hobson’s choice.  It is not a golden rule but usually it is me who tends to see couples at the Mill.  I explain from the outset that I have no agenda but to help clarify the situation and enable the couple to come to some kind of resolution.  That might be to sort out their differences and restore a workable relationship or to go their separate ways.  I do not prejudge the situation.  Sometimes it is a delight to work with a couple as they really try to hear each other and come to a working compromise.  I do believe that a person has great potential for change, and although there might be a broken relationship, where there is love there is a chance for reconciliation. 

Sometimes, though, I am taken aback by the intransigence of a person or both people, and I cannot see how the couple got to such an impasse. In those kinds of situations there is no real coming back together and the best we can accomplish is a damage limitation exercise as they decide their respective futures.  There is such pain and heartache for anyone to see.  I wonder how some people can be so manipulative and cruel to others, and it is called human’kind’.

Of course there are similarities on the larger scale of the breakdown of relations between countries, although fear is more a feature here than love!  However it would appear that on the international level of things it is far more difficult to quickly resolve any issue.  Face saving grows in importance and any initial compromise is seen as a weakness, so usually it takes a long, long time to overcome hostilities or harsh words.  I cannot wonder if it is because there is a geographical distance between the two parties that it becomes easier to shout obscenities and be ‘brave’ rather than be wise and diplomatic.  It is also easier to kill or maim when you cannot see the whites of their eyes.  It is also far harder to come back from a ‘scene’ to a past working friendly relationship.  It is even worse where the ‘enemy’ is within, as in a civil war zone.

The Ukraine and Gaza are, of course, extreme examples, with Ukraine having passed the two year point since the invasion.  We cannot begin to appreciate the heartache and suffering of those peoples.  How can we?  War is such madness.

A ‘marriage’ partnership is based on love, trust, fidelity, and commitment, where communication is paramount.  An international partnership seems best to be based on ‘hope for peace but prepare for war! ‘

Is that realism or cynicism?

The usual updates are there, Planting by the Moon and Astrology for Healers and Therapists.

Have a peaceful month and Blessings

John