July Newsletter – Responsibility or Blame

Hello Everyone

Although responsibility can be acknowledged as being before an event as well as afterwards, blame is a post event only.  You can be absolutely certain that at the start of a couples’ counselling session there will be much said about blame, but little said about responsibility.  Blame is all about pointing the finger at the other person and accusing them of the problematic situation they are in. 

It is their fault.  Whilst responsibility is about accepting some of the blame or fault for themselves.  So to begin with the ploy tends to be one of off-loading, but as the sessions continue then the responsibility of the situation is gradually shared.  In fact there cannot be any real progress for the relationship’s survival until that sharing point is reached.  Only then can negotiation take place and compromise ensue.  Only then can a more harmonious atmosphere be generated and both parties try to work together for a better future. 

We have a remarkable success rate in couples’ counselling, for generally couples come to us and want to work things out.

At the time of writing this newsletter, the General Election is a couple of weeks away.  At the moment there is much finger pointing and no accepting of responsibility unless the event being voiced is of a positive nature, real or contrived.  The rest is pure conjecture.  I wish, oh I wish, politicians could take a leaf out of the counselling room and try to work together for the greater good of the nation, for nobody has the monopoly on good ideas or policy.  What a different nation there would be if that was the case. We might even recognise politicians as being Statesmen and Stateswomen, rather than only concerned with votes and being in power.  Perhaps there is even a possibility of an argument there for proportional representation after all!! 

In your dreams John.

The usual updates are there:  Planting by the Moon and Astrology for Healers and Therapists.

Have a good month.